Things the Flock Always Wanted to Say
by Lekta
Summary: Things the Flock Always Wanted to Say But Never Had the Chance To R
1. Chapter 1

Things the Flock Always Wanted to Say to Each Other but Rarely Got a Chance To

_Author's Notes: This is meant to be entirely for fun as I realize the flock would never actually say any of this to each other. It was fun to write and I think its fun to read so drop me a line and tell me what you think of it. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Maximum Ride characters but wouldn't mind having a little brother like Iggy. _

Iggy- "We're listening to a voice in Max's head, am I the only one who thinks there's something wrong with that sentence?"

Nudge- "I vote for pie! Who wants pie?"

Max- "Oh Fang, I love your silent broodyness! It makes my heart sing!"

Max- "No more commanding people to buy you things, do you hear me young lady?"

Gazzy- "If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain…"

Angel- "Do you, Total, take Celeste to be your loving wife? To have and to hold from this day forward?"

Max- "Everyone, I have a confession to make….I want to be a supermodel."

Total- "That's it! I'm high tailing it out of here, you people scare me. I'm off to be a regular dog and sniff a butt!"

Fang- "Max, I want to marry you. I love you. Come let's leave this life behind and elope then we can raise the kids and be a family. I hear Vegas is nice."

Iggy- "Well, Fang finally cracked. I told you desert rat wasn't sanitary."

Nudge- "Everyone, me and Ari have something to tell you. We're getting married and becoming Whitecoats!"

Nudge- "Somebody just throw a pie."

Max- "I've decide to rename you all. Angel's new name will be Curly. Gasman will be Larry and Iggy will be Mo. Fang you'll be Mr. Broody and Nudge can be Sister Sledge. Everyone good? Good."

Fang- hugging Ari "Welcome to the family Ari. I'm your future brother in law!"

Iggy- "Screw you guys I'm going to Disneyland!"

Angel- "If you won't let me use my powers then I'm going back to the School! At least THEY loved me."

Gazzy- "Gasman, Gazzy Gasman he's the smartest guy in history! From the Institute for Higher Li-ving, Max's about to hit me! Ow!"

Ari- "We could've been brothers Max!" Max- "Uh, no we couldn't 'cause I'm a GIRL!" Ari- "Really? Wow." (This is actually a joke. When I first read the book I thought Max was a boy. Oops.)

Gazzy- "If it looks like an Eraser and flies like a drunken bird-" Iggy- "It's Ari."

Gazzy- "If it looks like an Eraser and talks like an Eraser, it's a duck."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Notes: I feel so loved! Everyone's been really great at reviewing which is making re-think the whole one-shot thing. So, here's the second installment of Things the Flock Always Wanted to Say to Each Other but Rarely got the Chance to. I hope you like it and that I'm as funny as I think I am!**_

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride but Iggy is now my baby brother! cuddles Iggy

Max-(drunk) "I wouldn't trade you guys for anything in this world." Nudge- "Aww Max, that's so swee-" Max-(still drunk) "Because the world wouldn't take you! HA!"

Gasman-"Blind boy from Alabama" Iggy-"Beans for brains." Gasman-"Spiky-haired toothpick." Iggy- "Child of the Corn." Gasman- "Stupid, stupid head." Iggy- "Fartmaster General." Gasman- (farts) Iggy- (holds nose) "You win."

Iggy- "I've been lying to you guys, I can really see. I just wear sunglasses at night because I don't wanna see your ugly mugs!"

Nudge- "FA LA LA LA LA! LA LA LA LA!" Max-(wince) "Anybody got some earplugs?" Fang- "I think I lost my hearing." Iggy- "If only we were so lucky."

Max- "Guys, I want you to meet your new daddy!" Jeb- "Hello, children." Nudge- "Max, why did you bring him here?" Max- "Me and Fang are moving to Vegas, where I can finally achieve my dream of becoming a Vegas Show Girl and Fang is gonna do whatever Fang does." Angel: "Be all broody?" Max: "Exactly."

Max- "Guys, I have a confession to make. Fang and I aren't your real parents. You're all adopted." Iggy- "Well, duh."

Nudge- "When I grow up, I want to be adopted by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt." Max- "Sweetie, you're too old for them." Nudge- (sobs)

Iggy- (singing) "I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can look really cooooool!"

Angel – "Why yes, Miss Celeste, I would love some tea. Would like some tea Ms. Total?" Total- "This is humiliating."

Iggy- "Ah, man!" Fang- "What's wrong, Iggy?" Iggy- "I left my new torch in Narnia." Max- "Wow, that was so not funny."

Iggy- "So I zoomed past the ugly thing and knocked it out in a one-two punch! And then, POW! I hit him where it hurts. But then, out of nowhere I saw another one! And I was like, whoa, ERASER!" Gasman: (looks at Fang) (Fang shakes his head)Fang: "He ran away." Nudge: "But it was very manly running away." Iggy: (grumbles) "Thanks, Nudge."

**WHAT MAX HEARS WHEN GAZZY AND IGGY TALK:**

Iggy: asaj sif hjoih etjnghg! Akskad sirnerik!

Gasman: Ihwenrjerh iehr iehriehr wnern! Kirekrnkerneknt erektn.

**WHAT MAX HEARS WHEN FANG TALKS:**

Fang: Broody broody brood broody. McBrood brood brood McBroodington.

**WHAT MAX HEARS WHEN ANGEL TALKS:**

Angel: Max, can I get a puppy? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI?

**WHAT MAX HEARS WHEN NUDGE TALKS:**

Nudge: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Nudge: "MAX!" Max: "NUDGE!" Nudge: MAAAAX! Max: "NUUUUDGE!" Nudge: "MAAAAAAAAAAX!" Gasman: "GAZZY!" (both stare at him) Gasman: (shrug) "I felt lonely."

Nudge: "MAX!" Max: "WHAT!?" Nudge: "WHY IS FANG ALWAYS SO DEPRESSED!?" Max: "I DON'T KNOW! ASK HIM!" Nudge: "FANG! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO DEPRESSED!?" Nudge: "HE'S NOT ANSWERING ME, MAX!" Max: WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Nudge: "MAKE HIM TALK TO ME!" Max: "FANG! TALK TO NUDGE!" Fang: (eyebrow twitch) "Would you both STOP SHOUTING!?"

_**AN: So, I don't know if it's that funny. Maybe you guys could give me some ideas on how to improve if you didn't like it? Thanks. Read and Review. Reviews make my heart happy.**_


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